40 Days of Purpose: Building Biblical Fellowship

We need others. As much as we like to imagine a solitary life we weren’t made for it. We were made for fellowship, to live in community.

KEY VERSES

“Share each other’s troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 NLT

“We understand what love is when we realise that Christ gave his life for us. That means we must give our lives for other believers.” 1 John 3:16 GWT

Living together, loving each other. By doing this we are obedient to God, but it’s not easy especially with fake friends and fear.

So how can we create the community God desires for us? How do we build biblical fellowship?

Fellowship is experiencing life together. It’s unselfish, practical, honest and sacrificial. It takes place in smaller groups, not large gatherings, because small groups provide more room for intimacy.

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20 NIV

There are nine characteristics of biblical fellowship. These characteristics show us the difference between real and fake fellowship and lead us to real community.

AUTHENTICITY

Fellowship is built on love. It’s all about loving others and love requires us to give. We give our whole being, we don’t pretend to be someone we’re not. We say what we feel, we get vulnerable, we confess our sins. We don’t shy away from asking for help or prayer.

Fellowship is created in authenticity. It is heartfelt and intimate. We often hide in the darkness to conceal our flaws but when we walk in God’s light our flaws are revealed. It can feel exposed but regardless of our feelings we must learn to accept our flaws and give them to God. He can use anything for good including our flaws.

“If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” 1 John 1:7-8 NIV

Building biblical fellowship is not easy. We face rejection and pain, we face being exposed by those who seek to bring us down. It requires courage, humility, and taking risks. The biggest risk we can take is to be authentic.

MUTUALITY

Mutuality is the art of giving and receiving which is at the heart of fellowship. It presents in different ways from helping each other to sharing responsibilities but most importantly in relationships that are reciprocated.

“He did this to make all parts of the body work together smoothly, with each part caring about the others.” 1 Corinthians 12:25 CEV

The bible tells us we are to love others more than ourselves (Romans 12:10). This means learning to give and receive even when we don’t feel like it. Learning to love each other as God intended will take time but God is gracious to forgive when we don’t love as we ought.

We are commanded to mutually encourage, honour, and serve each other and to hold each other accountable. But we are only responsible for our own actions, not theirs.

“We should try to live at peace and help each other have a strong faith.” Romans 14:19 CEV

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SYMPATHY

You may call it empathy but sympathy is the biblical term regardless it plays an important role in fellowship.

Sympathy is sharing the pain of others as if it were our own. It meets our need of validation and being understood. Fellowship grows when these needs are met.

Fellowship has levels. Simple fellowship is studying the Word together or sharing something. A deeper level is serving like on a mission trip. The deepest level is suffering, it is the most intense level of fellowship and requires sympathy.

“Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution, at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated.” Hebrews 10:33 NIV

Fellowship will see us supporting friends who are suffering or it will see us suffering while they support us. Or everyone suffers and supports each other. We were not made to bear our burdens alone. Our burden is to be shared with God and our community (Galatians 6:2).

It is in times of suffering we need each other most. We need fellowship to help us through because our faith may falter and those friends will have faith for us to help us through. We need friends who can sympathise with us.

“Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” Job 6:14 NIV

MERCY

Every relationship has its troubles whether it’s an argument or a betrayal. The fellowship we build needs to be a place of grace and forgiveness. We can’t have real fellowship without it.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13 NIV

Forgiveness is letting go of what has happened and must be immediate. It may take forgiving them every day until we actually let go of the hurt. Trust regards the future and takes time. Just because we forgive someone doesn’t mean we have to trust them, that trust needs to be earned.

HONESTY

If we aren’t honest how can we possibly live authentically?

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbour, for we are all members of one body.” Ephesians 4:25 NIV

God despises lies so we shouldn’t be lying anyway but even if we don’t lie we aren’t always honest. An omission of truth is as bad as a lie.

Fellowship requires honesty, without honesty there can be no intimacy. Without intimacy it’s a fake fellowship. If it’s not real then what’s the point?

Without honesty there is no confession. Confession and prayer are the key to growing spiritually and emotionally (James 5:16), being honest is the only way to growth.

HUMILITY

Pride builds wall in relationships, it destroys them. A real fellowship is built on grace, it is filled with humility.

It’s humility that helps us to be honest and humility that leads us to mercy and sympathy.

“All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another because, “God opposes the proud but shows favour to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5 NIV

If we want to develop real, biblical fellowship we must develop humility. We begin by admitting our weaknesses and being open to correction. We must train ourselves to be patient and learn to put the spotlight on others rather than ourselves.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 NIV

COURTESY

Courtesy is being considerate of others, it’s being patient with difficult people and respecting despite differences. It’s important in fellowship because it helps us to love others better and it can prevent conflict.

“to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” Titus 3:2 NIV

CONFIDENTIALITY

Where would you feel safe to be vulnerable? In a room full of gossips? I think not. Fellowship requires confidentiality, without it there is no intimacy, no honesty and no trust. We need to know when to speak and when to keep our mouths shut.

God hates gossip. It is as divisive as it is entertaining. We should not speak about others behind their back. Fellowship is God-centred, lies should not be spoken and gossip should not be heard.

But knowing when to speak can be difficult. Sometimes we must hurt feelings to speak truth and the truth is more important even if it means causing pain or losing a friend.

“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.” Proverbs 16:28 NIV

FREQUENCY

To build real fellowship we must have regular contact with other believers or friends. Relationships are a commitment, they take time and energy. When no effort is made the relationship dissolves, this is not how God wants us to live.

The disciples met every single day, we may not have time for that but we can prioritise fellowship even if it is online. If we want deep, intimate fellowship we will have to sacrifice in order to make the time to forge those relationships. A sacrifice we should be willing to make in God’s name. It is not meant to be convenient it is a conviction that fellowship is vital to our spiritual health.

“not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25 NIV

Only the Holy Spirit creates real fellowship but our choices and commitments are what the Spirit uses to cultivate it. So it takes God’s power and our effort. These nine characteristics are the backbone of our relationships and ensure we build biblical fellowship.

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