It’s hard to let go, of grudges, of people we no longer talk to but still think of, of the shame of our sins even though we’re forgiven. It’s not easy and it was never meant to be. The pain we feel, the grief, even the good stuff we have to release for the greater good, none of it was meant to be easy. If it was easy then we didn’t truly feel anything. Anything we truly feel will be hard to move on from regardless of whether it was good or bad. Ironically, it’s good for it to be hard.
So how can we move on? We forgive. We forgive those who did us wrong, or ourselves for what we did wrong. We forgive even if we’re unsure it needs to be forgiven. And once we’ve done that, once we’ve forgiven we can let it go and step out of the past into the future God has planned for us.
But how do we forgive? How do we let go so we can move forward?
UNDERSTANDING FORGIVENESS
“The one who conceals his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them will find mercy.”
Proverbs 28:13
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:8-10
To know how to forgive we need to understand it. Forgiveness is not condoning what you or someone else did but releasing the burden of holding on to the pain or resentment. It is choosing to stop blaming and start moving on.
The Bible speaks of forgiveness being unlimited by frequency or quantity in Matthew 18 so we cannot let that hold us back and give us another excuse not to forgive. Don’t let resentment build up just because someone keeps hurting you, follow the example Jesus set and love them anyway. If Jesus was able to look in the eyes of his betrayer every day for years without blame I think you can manage a short time.
“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? As many as seven times?” “I tell you, not as many as seven,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.”
Matthew 18:21-22
If it is your own sin you need to forgive just like in Psalm 32:15 you need to confess it. Confess to yourself and admit your guilt, forgive yourself for whatever you did and don’t let the guilt hold you back anymore.
“Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not conceal my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the guilt of my sin.”
Psalm 32:15
Remember that forgiving isn’t just a good thing to do and better for your mental health, if you choose not to forgive God will not be merciful towards you. But also remember that God can help you to forgive, you can pray to Him for help to forgive.
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your wrongdoing.“
Mark 11:25
Forgiveness can take time, even if you consciously choose to forgive someone it doesn’t mean the feelings of resentment will go away immediately. It can take a while but it will happen so don’t lose hope.
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PAIN AND LET IT OUT
Allow yourself to feel all the emotions for whoever you’re forgiving and let it out in a safe environment. That could be curled up in bed crying your eyes out, it could be letting your pen do the talking in your journal or praying out loud to God. You could talk about it with someone you trust or a therapist.
Consider putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and think about the things that could have happened to them that led to them hurting you. It’s as they say hurt people will hurt people. By choosing to forgive you could be the only person showing them kindness.
“Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plough and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
Luke 9:62
It’s important to forgive and move on, to let go of the past so we can fully step into the future. Isaiah 43:18 tells us to forget the former things and not to dwell on the past because when we do we lose sight of God and the importance of righteousness. When we look back we become entangled in regrets and shame, in what could have been and what was.
Now is the time to forgive, let go, and step forward into the fullness of what God has for you. Have faith in His plan and trust in His promises. Who can you forgive today? What can you do to forgive yourself today?
Forgiveness is not easy but it is worth it. And if someone doesn’t forgive you and won’t accept your apology, give it to God. The important thing is that you did your best, you can’t make someone forgive you.
“I will never again remember their sins or lawless acts. Now where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer an offering for sin.”
Hebrews 10:17-18
Have you had tough experiences with forgiveness in the past? Let me know how you moved on in the comments.
Wholeheartedly Faithul 
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