The Beginner’s Guide to Praying: Simple Steps to Connect with God

We’ve been focusing a lot on prayer recently and today is just the latest instalment. It’s all good knowing what prayer is and what it does and it is simple enough but for the overthinkers out there who question if the way they pray is wrong or are so scared to be wrong that they don’t know how to begin. This one is for you, we’re going to dive into the Bible to find out what it says about how to pray.

Now the first thing you need to know is you can pray anywhere at any time. You can pray with your eyes open while driving or lying in bed at night with your eyes closed pretending you’re not going to fall asleep in the middle of your prayer. You can pray out loud in the street if that’s what you feel like.

In Matthew 6, we read about the hypocritical holier-than-thou Pharisees who do everything just for show. This passage warns us not to be like them, so when you pray make sure your heart is in the right place and you aren’t praying because you’ll look good in front of others.

“Whenever you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by people. Truly, I tell you, they have their reward. But when you pray, go into your private room, shut your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
Matthew 6:5-6

Secondly, there’s no time limit on how long a prayer needs to last. You don’t have to rush through it, you can take your time. If you want to pray for five hours then you do that, it won’t make God love you any more or less. If you can only pray for five minutes then that five minutes better be put to good use, with no distractions. It is true that the more time you spend with God the better off you will be but He understands there are only so many hours in the day and life often pushes itself in the way of time we ought to be spending with God.

So how do you start praying?

In Matthew 6, we are introduced to the Lord’s Prayer. This prayer gives us a guideline of how we should pray.

“Therefore, you should pray like this: Our Father in heaven, your name be honoured as holy. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today out daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”
Matthew 6:9-13

When we start praying we should recognise God in all His glory and give Him praise instead of diving straight in with all we want to pray about. This helps us remember that it’s not about us. By placing God’s name, kingdom and will before ourselves we make sure that at least in this moment we are making God a priority as we should in all areas of our lives and humbling ourselves towards Him in the moment. It also shows we have a desire for His will to be done rather than our own.

Personally, I like to take some time to be grateful for what God has given me before diving into the things I want to pray about too.

Then we bring our needs and desires before God. The example in the Lord’s prayer is for daily provision, forgiveness and the strength to resist any temptations we may face that day, all good things which we should be praying for daily. This is the time to bring forward any situations we would like clarity on or someone we want to pray for.

There are not any specific words to use when praying except the ones which address God. Otherwise, it’s just like any other conversation except we’re talking with the Almighty.

There isn’t even a particular posture to be in. Although some people may like to be on their knees as a sign of their humility or raise their hands in the air, it isn’t a must-do. Ultimately, do what feels right to you.

You don’t even have to pray alone if you don’t want to. Some churches hold prayer meetings where you join with others, or you could ask a friend to pray with you (and for you) to help build up your confidence in praying. The Youversion Bible app also has a function which leads you in guided prayer which will help you structure your prayers.

Do our prayers depend on how deeply we feel or mean them?

No, they do not. We can’t force God to respond out of sheer will especially if it is something He would disapprove of. Just because we may feel emotional during prayer does not equate to deep faith or spirituality. Ultimately it is God who chooses whether to grant or refuse our prayers but He will always listen.

We must not approach prayer like God is a genie and will give us everything we ask for, that is a great disrespect to God who genuinely cares for us and wants the best for us. And often what we ask for is not the best thing.

“I will pray with the spirit, and I will also pray with my understanding. I will sing praise with the spirit, and I will also sing praise with my understanding.”
1 Corinthians 14:15

Does prayer require morbid introspection of our sins?

I don’t know about morbid introspection, but some self-reflection can be a good thing when praying, especially when confessing sin. Sometimes we can forget about some of the sins we do because they have become so ingrained in our lives.

A serious attempt to discover our sins and repent of them in prayer is always a good idea because if we don’t unrepented sin can still cause pain.

How do we approach prayer when we feel distant from God?

It can be hard to pray when God feels far, it can be awkward but we can’t let that feeling of distance stop us from talking to God. In such moments we ought to be seeking Him more no matter how long the feeling lasts.

Psalm 13 is an example of a few Psalms where David felt distant from God.

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?”
Psalm 13:1

There is comfort in knowing that everyone has seasons where God feels far. But all we can do in such seasons is to continue to seek God, to spend time in prayer and wait.

“Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him; do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way, by the person who carries out evil plans.”
Psalm 37:7

So how can we approach God in this time? We follow the example of David and pour out our feelings and how this distance from God is affecting us. We pray for change and breakthrough with the hope that it will come.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart be courageous. Wait for the Lord.”
Psalm 27:14

How should we approach prayer when we don’t know what to say?

When the words fail to come begin your prayer with admitting that and pray for the Holy Spirit to intercede on your behalf. In Romans 8 we read that the spirit does intercede for us so in such moments pray for that to happen.

“The spirit intercedes for us through wordless groans.”
Romans 8:26

If it’s more that you don’t know what to pray for or about consider praying for the people you talked to recently. Pray for family or friends, even those who have hurt you. The people who hurt others require prayer because they lack love in their lives and your prayer for them could help change their lives.

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Matthew 5:44

You could also look online for examples of prayers or open up the Psalms and choose one to say as a prayer. The Bible is full of great prayer ideas.

If you have any more questions about how to pray or prayer in general don’t hesitate to send a message. Until next time, keep praying.