Who are you living for? Who do you seek validation from? Who do you want to please?
KEY VERSE
“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.” Psalms 27:10 NLT
Our desire to belong and be valued drives many of our choices. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted or wanting approval but sometimes we can take it a step too far and it replaces God. Our desire for approval can become an obsession that steals our joy and wastes our time.
We need to avoid falling into the trap of people-pleasing. We may want to be liked and have the validation of others, but we don’t need it to function. We do not need any approval or to fear the opinion and potential disapproval of others. Only God should have such power over us. We should always consider others of course but we can’t let anything stop us from obeying God.
THE DANGERS OF PEOPLE-PLEASING
MISSING GOD’S WILL
God did not make us to fulfil the expectations of others. We were made for His pleasure and to fulfil His purposes.
God knows our motivations and the desires of our hearts. He knows when we’re doing the right things for the wrong reasons. We miss the point of doing good we do it to impress someone, to gain recognition or avoid disapproval. The expectations of others limit us, they hold us back from reaching our true potential and fulfilling our purposes. The only approval we need is God’s.
“You may brag about yourself, but the only approval that counts is the Lord’s approval.” 2 Corinthians 10:18 CEV
OUR FAITH STOPS GROWING
When we want to please people rather than God we stop taking risks out of fear and this stops our growth. We cannot grow unless we leave the comfort zone. Our concern of what others think has more destructive potential than other fears. It minimises God and ends up replacing Him – this is idolatry. We cannot allow our fear to win. Nothing should stand between us and God.
LEADS TO OTHER SINS
Giving into peer pressure leads to wrongdoing. God did not make us weak to give in at the slightest pressure. He created us to be warriors in the Spirit and through the Spirit we have God’s strength. We have no excuse to give in to peer pressure anymore. God designed us to be strong and courageous.
“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God – I say this to your shame.” 1 Corinthians 15:33-34 NIV
We must make the hard choice sometimes to love our friends from a distance if they are constantly leading us to sin.
CAUSES HYPOCRISY
We hide our true selves when we people please. We put on a mask to disguise our true feelings. But the version of ourselves we hide is who God wants us to be. God wants us to be our unique selves unafraid of being different.
“You are always making yourselves look good, but God sees what is in your heart. The things that most people think are important are worthless as far as God is concerned.” Luke 16:15 CEV
We must not compromise in our obedience.
SILENCES OUR LIFE MESSAGE
God has a message to share through each of us. The same story told in different ways because of our uniqueness. If we do not live as God intended the testimony planned for us is stifled and our destiny to change lives is abandoned.
For the sake of others and ourselves we must break free from people pleasing and be our true selves.
HOW TO BREAK FREE FROM PEOPLE PLEASING
The solution is in the mind, it’s to change the way we think. Through repentance God transforms our mind and our thoughts which frees us from the pressure to conform. God uses truth to transform us – the truth of His Word.
“Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2 CSB
There are six truths to remember that can help us stay away from people pleasing. You may find them helpful as affirmations you can repeat to yourself.
IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY (LUKE 6:26)
You can’t please everyone, even God can’t please everyone.
HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE
We don’t need anyone’s approval to be happy, it is a choice we make. It is helped by our focus on Jesus, the more we focus on him the less we feel pressure to people please.
WHAT SEEMS IMPORTANT NOW IS ONLY TEMPORARY (1 JOHN 2:17)
Nothing on this earth will last, so the money, careers and material things that seem so important to us now won’t be forever. The only things that last is our character, God’s purposes for us and God Himself and His kingdom.
I ONLY HAVE TO PLEASE ONE PERSON (GALATIANS 1:10)
God is the only person we have to please.
I WILL GIVE AN ACCOUNT OF MY LIFE ONE DAY (ROMANS 14:12)
One day we stand before God and be required to give an account of our lives so we should live a life that pleases Him.
GOD SHAPED ME TO BE ME
God didn’t make us to be anyone else. He crafted us with intention and care. There is no one like us. We are an original masterpiece of God.
My prayer for you is that you will be released from the trap of people pleasing. I pray you will find joy in being your true self and embrace your uniqueness. In Jesus name, let all that holds you back from pursuing God wholeheartedly and fulfilling your purposes release you from their chains. Learn to live free and to love others as God does. I pray this for you in the name of our Saviour Jesus, Amen.
This is the final post in the 40 days of purpose series of posts sharing highlights from Rick Warren’s ‘The Purpose Driven Life’. If you want to read the other posts in this series, you can find them in the blog post category. Look out for a final post on ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ where I will review the book and the 40-day journey that it took me on.
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Wholeheartedly Faithul 
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